Haha, see what I did there in the title? Impressed? Anyway, don’t let Ali Larter wearing two thin pieces of cloth in this issue of Allure distract you from the valuable information inside. “Summer’s prettiest makeup” and “jeans you’ll love for day and night?” OMGWTFBBQ! It’s like Allure read my mind and made it into July’s issue.

No, but seriously, if you’re a guy and you buy this magazine for any reason other than to whack off to Ali Larter, shoot yourself.