A topless Dita Von Teese appears in the December issue of Playboy Germany and, sonofabitch, that's it. I'm moving to Germany. I thought this country was kickass, but when we can't even get Dita Von Teese to pose in our Playboy, it's time to pack it in and start selling states to Canada. I'm not even joking. Which is why I'd like to announce the launch of my new site: Das Oberflächliche.com! Sieg Heil, bitches. NOTE: Pics to link NSFW versions which give new meaning to the scientific term "nipples the size of dinner plates."