Now that our Kiefer is free as a bird and more velvet-voiced than ever, he's opening up about the seven-week jail stint that made shower soap negotiation almost as perilous as saving the free world. Speaking to Men's Vogue, he details the jail's living conditions (bad, but at least it wasn't the plebeian hellhole inflicted upon Raffaello Follieri) and the cerebral, mercifully short-lived experience that was his sobriety: